BY PATRICK CONNOR

Darryl Morgan was one of eight kids growing up in a crowded house. Now a 42-year-old successful entrepreneur, he recently got together with his dad and asked him a question that had been on his mind a long time.
“Dad, why were you so tough on mom when we were young?”
His dad, taken aback, responded, “What do you mean?”
“You were very hard on mom. Why was that?”
“Son, I had to provide a roof and food for you kids,” his dad said, somewhat defensively.
Darryl asked again, “But Dad, why were you mean to mom?”
“Darryl, it was tough raising a family”
“I know, Dad. But why?” Darryl asked again.
After a long silence he finally responded. “Son, I was so young and handsome. I had great potential”

“You see, Darryl, I had a promising baseball career. But I was young and madly in love with your mom. We got married when we were 19 and, soon afterwards, she got pregnant. Family responsibilities quickly piled on. Five years later, we already had the fourth child on the way. There was just no time to pursue baseball anymore. I got a job driving a truck and I did whatever I could to provide for you and the family.”

Darryl had unearthed a deep emotion. His dad had regrets. He’d never pursued his passion, and he resented it over the years. Yet he’d never talked about it

Darryl learned something he’d never known about his father. He also learned the importance of asking why – and repeating it until he’d gotten beneath the surface conversations he’d had with his father for many years. It was a painful discussion, to be sure, but a meaningful one about the choices we make in our lives and the prices we pay. Today, Darryl and his father are very close – mostly as a result of that one-hour dialogue.

Are you asking why? Are there ways you can further strengthen your customer relationships or do you already know everything there is to know about them?

“Why” questions allow you to understand the motives of your customers. Some customers act out of fear, others out of self-interest, and still others out of a desire to increase profits. Being able to uncover motives brings you invaluable insight into how your customers operate and what they truly value in doing business with you.

- Patrick Connor is Vice President of Performance Based Results.

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Here Are 10 Examples of Different Ways to Ask WHY

1. Tell me what is prompting your
   interest in?….?
2. Share with me what is motivating your decision to?….?
3. What is causing this to happen?
4. What’s driving this need?
5. What originally led you to this decision?
6. What do you hope to accomplish?
7. Why is this important to you?
8. What is prompting you to consider this option?
9. If you could achieve this result, what will it mean to you?
10. What concerns do you have if you don’t achieve this goal?

BY CLAIRE DASALLA

Paul Cherry, president of PBR has recently fulfilled one of his lifelong goals by authoring his first book, Questions That Sell, The Powerful Process for Discovering What Your Customer Really Wants published by the American Management Association.

To date he worked with over 1,200 organizations from leading Fortune 500 companies to small and medium sized companies in every major industry. More than 20,000 individuals have benefited from his assessment and coaching programs to achieve greater success, both personally and professionally.

Questions That Sell provides readers with advanced questioning techniques to sell their products based on value to the customer, not on price ?| and increase their success rate as a result. The book contains powerful examples, exercises, and hundreds of sample questions, including:

• Vision Questions: Tap into a customers?f needs and desires for the future.
• Questions to Uncover Problems: Fix something that?fs not working for the client.
• Pay-Off Questions: Get customers to articulate for themselves how much the product or service is worth.

Simply knowing the right questions to ask can make the difference between finalizing a sale or losing it. Most salespeople have extensive knowledge of their products, but many fail to ask the questions that will help them uncover the real needs of their customers.

- Claire Dasalla is Vice President, International of Performance Based Results.